7 Below

7 Below (R) 2012

Directed by Kevin Carraway

Starring:  Ving Rhames, Luke Goss, Rebecca Da Costa, Val Kilmer, Brianna Lee Johnson, Matt Barr, and several other people who are likely embarrassed to be associated with this movie.

Here We Go:  Quite simply one of the worst movies ever made.  How did the production company convince Ving Rhames and Val Kilmer to take part in this movie?  They must have had some serious blackmail on them.  Even worse:  how did Ving Rhames and Val Kilmer, two legitimate Julliard trained actors, act so horribly in this movie?  It was like the script was so bad it undid all of their acting training and ability.  Val Kilmer says maybe a handful of lines in the entire movie and is so bad that at times it seems like he just needed a pay check to buy his next bottle of liquor so he showed up on set but didn't bother to bathe, learn the script or, you know, act.  At one point someone in the group is killed and everyone is more upset that another character got a bump on the head.  This theme of unrealistic and absurd reactions eventually just becomes ridiculously funny.  The bad script, bad acting and awful cinematography make this painful to get through.

Bottom Line:  Skip it!

300

300 (2007) R

Directed by Zach Snyder

Starring: Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, Dominic West, David Wenham,Vincent Regan, Michael Fassbender, Tom Wisdom, Andrew Pleavin, Andrew Tiernan, Rodrigo Santoro, Stephen McHattie, and Alex Ivanovici

Here We Go: This is one of history’s most interesting, heroic and inspiring stories and, for some reason, Hollywood felt the need to add monsters to it.  While it is loosely based on the facts surrounding the real battle at Thermoplyae, some liberties are taken for dramatic effect.  Those would have been fine had they limited the liberties to human beings.  The real battle involved 7,000 Greeks holdings off an army of 100,000 – 300,000 for seven days.  That doesn’t need monsters for dramatic effect.  Let me say that again: 7,000 vs. perhaps 300,000. Being outnumbered 42:1 is terrifying – no supernatural creatures needed.  History aside, Gerard Butler is very good as King Leonidas and the final scene with Dilios leading the Spartans into the battle of Plataea will give you chills.

Bottom Line: Historical inaccuracies aside, this movie is definitely worth watching (but we’re looking forward to Hollywood telling the real story of Thermoplyae).