A Resurrection

A Resurrection (R) 2012

Directed by Matt Orlando

Starring:  Mischa Barton, Devon Sawa, Michael Clarke Duncan, J. Michael Trautmann, Stuart Stone, Nick Jandl, Matthew Willig, Alanna Janell, Morgan Wolk and Brenden Meers

Here We Go:  Some creepy kid's brother is killed in a hit-and-run and a group of teens are basically herded together as the possessed body of the dead brother comes back to take his revenge.  What a horribly stupid movie.  There are only a handful of people in the film, which may have saved the production company money but it made the credibility of the movie suffer.  You mean to tell me that ONE sheriff does the work of the entire department?  And students can just be held indefinitely by a school psychologist in a classroom, while the one absurd sheriff goes and talks to a witch?  Sure, why not.  And I guess that's why it makes complete sense that when (spoiler alert) Mischa Barton's character finds someone dead she backs out of the room and freaks out because she can't find her cell phone.  After all, why would ANY of the phones in any of the offices be an option for calling out.  I suppose it's because the ENTIRE town seems to consist of 12 people (all featured in the movie) and she needed to access her address book to find an out-of-towner to come save the day.  One last thing - Mischa Barton can't act and she should focus on learning to do something where she might excel, such as factory work or perhaps something in the realm of becoming a minor league baseball mascot.

Bottom Line:   Skip it!

The Last Exorcism Part II

The Last Exorcism Part II (UR) 2013

Directed by Ed Gass-Donnelly

Starring:  Ashley Bell, Julia Garner, Spencer Treat Clark, David Jensen, Tarra Riggs, Louis Herthum, Muse Watson, Erica Michelle, Andrew Sensenig and Judd Lormand

Here We Go:  This follow-up to The Last Exorcism brings you life for Nell (Bell) after the last movie.  Not a whole lot to say about this movie.  The Part I was entertaining but at times outlandish, poorly written and plagued with bad acting and bad cinematography.  Part II takes away the "entertaining" and leaves you with poor writing, bad acting and bad cinematography.  The one highlight is that Ashley Bell gives a strong lead performance if you can look past the bad script she had to work with.  

Bottom Line:   Skip it.  

The Conjuring

The Conjuring (R) 2013

Directed by James Wan

Starring: Vera Farmiga, Joey King, Patrick Wilson, Lili Taylor, Ron Livingston, Mackenzie Foy, Shanley Caswell, Hayley McFarland, John Brotherton and Steve Coulter

Here We Go:  Demonologists, Ed and Lorraine Warren, come to the rescue of a family that has been invaded by a deadly demon.  Maybe it's because this movie is based on a true story, but this movie is legit!  It's absolutely scary, the story moves along at a good pace, and I can testify to the fact that this movie had grown men bring out their inner child - their inner screams-like-a-little-girl child.  The cast is perfect and truly believable, (and we all know how easily horror movies can quickly lose points on believability).  I just keep thinking of the first time the demon makes an appearance...and on that note, I'm off to check under my bed and turn on a few more lights.

Bottom Line:  Watch it, ya big baby!

Beautiful Creatures

Beautiful Creatures (PG-13) 2013

Directed by Richard LaGravenese

Starring:  Alden Ehrenreich, Alice Englert, Jeremy Irons, Viola Davis, Emmy Rossum, Thomas Mann, Emma Thompson, Dame Eileen Atkins, Kyle Gallner, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Margo Martindale and Zoey Deutch

Here We Go:  When I initially saw previews for this movie I had high expectations without really knowing what it was about.  The more previews I saw, the lower my expectations.  That being said, I still went into this movie thinking it was going to be entertaining and it did not disappoint.  The overall concept of the movie (based on the novel of the same name) was kinda like taking Twilight and mixing it in a jar with Charmed and seeing what comes out.  The finished product was not bad but the story just didn't seem to reach its full potential.  Jeremy Irons was very well cast and the leads of Alice Englert (Lena) and Alden Enrenriech  (Ethan) were excellent.  There is room for a sequel here but with a poor box office performance this was probably the one and only film in the series.  

Bottom Line:  Watch it.

Sinister

Sinister (R) 2012

Directed by Scott Derrickson

Starring:  Ethan Hawke, Vincent D'Onofrio, James Ransone, Fred Dalton Thompson, Clare Foley, Juliet Rylance, Michael Hall D'Addario, Victoria Leigh and Nicholas King

Here We Go:  A true crime writer (Hawke) moves into the home of victims of a terrible murder with his family in order to investigate the crime for his next best seller.  The first 30+ minutes are slow torture with so many mundane details that it made me want to nod off.  Do I really need to see you put ice in your glass?  Does anyone?!  Other than that, yes, there were several moments when things built up and the anticipation was nail-biting, but then nada.  This entire movie was really just about trying to unravel this detailed plot that never really panned out.  

Bottom Line:  Skip it and watch Insidious...or just stare off blindly into space.

Hold Your Breath

Hold Your Breath (R) 2012

Directed by Jared Cohen

Starring:  Katrina Bowden, Randy Wayne, Erin Marie Hogan, Steve Hanks, Joshua Michael Allen, Brad Slaughter, Seth Cassell and Darin Cooper.

Here We Go:  A group of 20-somethings take a road trip and wind up being possessed by a killer who uses their bodies to do his dirty work.  This movie is just insulting.  I didn't even know that they made movies this bad anymore!  Maybe, MAYBE, you could throw this film a bone and say that they at least incorporated some classic horror movie elements, such as young adults, nudity, a creepy caretaker, and an abandoned prison.  Nah...take that bone and crush it with a hammer - this movie gets no bone!  It was just so painfully bad.  At one point (we could call this a spoiler alert, but I beg you to never watch this junk) someone is cut in half and their COMPUTERIZED LEGS fall over.  

Bottom Line:  Skip it...run away from it as fast as you can and never look back.

Mama

Mama (PG-13) 2013

Directed by Andres Muschietti

Starring:  Jessica Chastain, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau , Megan Charpentier, Isabelle Nélisse, Daniel Kash and Julia Chantrey

Here We Go:  Two little girls are left to fend for themselves in a cabin in the woods, but a supernatural mother comes forward to raise them for years as her own.  Mama is a twisted, creepy movie with a good back story and a solid ending.  The little girls were so believable that they easily sold the story with their expressions alone.  Just watching little wild children scurrying around is disturbing enough, but then enter the evil mother and littlest one looking like an adoring lunatic and the creep-factor increases.  It must be said that Jessica Chastain played her part beautifully - her reactions and delivery are so real that you can easily forget that she is just acting.    The ending could have easily gone for predictable, but I think there's enough of a twist to take you off guard.

Bottom Line:  Watch it!