Killing Them Softly

Killing Them Softly (R) 2012

Directed by Andrew Dominik

Starring:  Brad Pitt, Richard Jenkins, James Gandolfini, Ray Liotta, Scoot McNairy, Ben Mendelsohn, Vincent Curatola, Max Casella and Sam Shepard

Here We Go:  Two knuckleheads rob a mob card game and we spend the rest of the movie watching the repercussions.  With Pitt, Gandolfini and Liotta, this movie had potential but never quite seemed to get "there."  The story was very predictable, though well done.  The acting was good but without a wow factor.  Gandolfini seemed wasted in his role and Liotta does tough guy much better than whining whimp.  Pitt, surprisingly, played the hitman role well and was the highlight of an otherwise average, yet entertaining, movie.  

Bottom Line:  Watch it but don't pay for it.  

Jack the Giant Slayer

Jack the Giant Slayer (PG-13) 2013

Directed by Bryan Singer

Starring:  Nicholas Hoult, Eleanor Tomlinson, Stanley Tucci, Ian McShane, Bill Nighy, Ewan McGregor, Eddie Marsan, Ewen Bremner, Christopher Fairbank and Warwick Davis

Here We Go:  The classic story of Jack and the Beanstalk gets a special effects makeover for this larger than life giants vs. humans face-off.  The scale of this movie is impressive and the story all makes sense, but there is just something about this movie that is just a little underwhelming.  The action/fighting scenes are pretty cool and love interest angle is predictable but sweet enough.  There's just something that was missing.  I guess there's just too much predictability and not enough twist, but I can see how kids would like this.

Bottom Line:  Watch it if you need a time killer or if you're sick of playing with your Legos - but only if it's free.

Occupant

Occupant (NR) 2010

Directed by Henry Miller

Starring:  Van Hansis, Cody Horn, Thorsten Kaye, Jamie Harrold, Lou Ferguson, Scott Gregory,
David Little and Dylan Clark Marshall

Here We Go:  When Danny's (Hansis) grandmother passes away, he suddenly inherits her rent controlled apartment.  The catch is that he is forced to stay locked in the apartment for several days, which kicks off a series of events that leads Danny to believe that he's sharing his new space with someone, or something, else.  It's a pretty creepy concept on paper, but it never really comes full circle.  At the end of the movie, you're tempted to think that you just saw a pretty good movie, but then...wait...so when that one guy did that one thing, did it mean this or something else? What did that other thing mean?  And what was that one guy about?  Certain questions are just left hanging there and you end up feeling unsatisfied, and all anyone can agree on is that they just don't have absolute answers.  This isn't your typical horror movie, and that much is refreshing, but that's as far as my compliment will stretch.

Bottom Line:  I don't blame you if you're curious, but watch it only if it's free.

House at the End of the Street

House at the End of the Street (PG-13) 2012

Directed by Mark Tonderai

Starring:  Jennifer Lawrence, Max Thieriot, Elisabeth Shue, Gil Bellows, Nolan Gerard Funk, Eva Link, Allie MacDonald, Jordan Hayes, Krista Bridges and James Thomas

Here We Go:  Mother and daughter move into a rental that comes with a neighbor that has a back story that involves murder and an unsolved disappearance.  I would categorize this movie more along the line of thriller or suspense, rather than horror, but you still have a few moments mixed in where you jump in your seat.  The director did a good job with letting suspense build and dragging things out just a little bit longer than you expect just to really take you off guard.  One of the things that I really liked House at the End of the Street is that about half-way through things take a change and you end up wondering what the heck is going on.  From the middle onward there are a few twists and a some pretty decent Ah-Ha moments.  

Bottom Line:  If you're looking for something deep and graphic, I'd look elsewhere, but otherwise this is a pretty good thriller.

The Hills Have Eyes

The Hills Have Eyes (R) 2006

Directed by Alexandre Aja

Starring:  Kathleen Quinlan, Vinessa Shaw, Emilie de Ravin, Aaron Stanford, Desmond Askew, Dan Byrd, Robert Joy, Ted Levine and Michael Bailey Smith

Here We Go:  A family goes on a road trip, their vehicle is ambushed in the desert and they are basically hunted as they strive to a find a way to survive.  This movie has some disturbing bad guys, eerie settings and a continuous string of desperation for the good guys, which adds to the creep-factor.  On the other hand, there are so many moments that make you want to yell common sense at the characters that you can't help but end up feeling like they deserve anything that comes their way.  There are a few moments that will  make you jump and a good dose of gore.

Bottom Line:  Watch it for some mindless entertainment, but only if it's free.

The Dark Half

The Dark Half (R) 1993

Directed by George R. Romero

Starring: Timothy Hutton, Amy Madigan, Michael Rooker, Julie Harris, Robert Joy, Kent Broadhurst, Beth Grant, Rutanya Alda and Tom Mardirosian

Here We Go:  Really what do you expect from a B Rate movie based on a Stephen King novel that was made in 1993?  Its not a "bad" movie but go in with the right expectations.  Some fairly average acting and your typical Stephen King made-for-TV-movie quality special effects.  (Just wait until you see the birds.)  There is a bit of suspense until about half way through, because you really don't know who the killer is, but once you figure it out the movie kind of drags on.  

Bottom Line:  A good space filler but definitely not worth paying for.  

Rock of Ages

Rock of Ages (PG-13) 2012

Directed by Adam Shankman

Starring: Julianne Hough, Diego Boneta, Russell Brand, Paul Giamatti, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Malin Akerman, Mary J. Blige, Alec Baldwin and Tom Cruise

Here We Go:  Rock of Ages takes place in the 1980s where rock is more than a genre it's a lifestyle.  It was an entertaining movie with fun music and good mash-ups (different songs being sung together); however, you can absolutely tell that this music is more for the Broadway stage than the rocker scene at the Bourbon.  The voices were so polished and none of the grit that goes hand-in-hand with rock was really present.  I wasn't sure if I would be able to take listening to Hough's nasally singing voice for the 2 hours it would take to get through the movie, but I made it.  It must be said that Cruise managed to completely take over the persona of a rock legend.  His body language and stage performance could have been mirrored from Axle Rose.  Still, he really wasn't believably cast and neither was Alec Baldwin.  You win some, you lose some.  At the end of the day, this movie is supposed to be more tongue-in-cheek and hokey, which was strangely good and bad.  I mean, it was really the only reason why it made watching such a bizarrely bad movie seem acceptable.

Bottom Line:  Sure, why not... but only if it's free.

Tower Heist

Tower Heist (PG-13) 2011

Directed by Brett Ratner

Starring: Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Matthew Broderick, Casey Affleck, Michael Peña, Téa Leoni, Gabourey Sidibe, Alan Alda, Judd Hirsch and Nina Arianda

Here We Go:  This was a good movie with a story line that came full circle.  Basically, Stiller is forced to go after a man who tries to dupe his staff out of their pensions.  I would label this movie more "action/mildly entertaining" than "action comedy," but hey at least the "action" part is consistent.  I would also say that the language in this movie is the only thing that gives it a rating over a simple PG.  Still, it was a cute movie with an ending that gives you closure.  

Bottom Line:  It's nothing to write home about, but it's good enough to watch...if it's free.

Identity Thief

Identity Thief (R) 2013

Directed by Seth Gordon

Starring:  Jason Bateman, Melissa McCarthy, Jon Favreau, Amanda Peet, Robert Patrick, John Cho, Genesis Rodriguez, Maggie Elizabeth Jones, Eric Stonestreet, Ben Falcone, Morris Chestnut, Clark Duke, T.I. and Steve Little

Here We Go:  McCarthy plays an identity thief who robs Sandy (Bateman) of his name and money.  As Sandy goes about tracking her down and bringing her back to clear his name, the two wind up on the run from others who are also after the thief.  The Curse of Too Much Hype plagued this movie.  Sure, it was funny, but I felt like most of the really funny parts were given away in the previews and the rest was just a bunch of fluff.  Bateman does what he does best and that's play the common sense, straight arrow, and McCarthy does what she does best, which is insert her own straight-faced funny remarks throughout the film.  Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a terrible movie, but it didn't live up to its potential or the hype.  

Bottom Line:  Go ahead and check it out...but only if it's free.

Dorian Gray

Dorian Gray (2009) R

Directed by Oliver Parker

Starring: Ben Barnes, Colin Firth, Ben Chaplin, Rebecca Hall, Rachel Hurd-Wood, Caroline Goodall, Emilia Fox, Douglas Henshall, Fiona Shaw and Maryam d'Abo

Here We Go:  Oh Dorian...what a screw up you are.  The innocent Dorian (Barnes) is influenced by a man with no moral compass to just do whatever he wants and lead a life of indulgence.  Eventually, Dorian becomes a complete creep and basically takes down those closest to him.  Watching this movie was like watching something on how STDs happen, followed by why not to do drugs, and then the downfalls of alcohol.  As Dorian continues to butterfly as the world's biggest warning label, you see that people are aging and he's not.  Good concept, but it felt like the movie dragged on for awhile and the repetitive debauchery quickly became dull.  The ending was well done and there's a even a jump-in-your-seat moment.

Bottom Line:  Watch it but only if it's free....or if you want to scare a troublesome teenager straight.

House Hunting

House Hunting (2013) R

Directed by Eric Hurt

Starring:  Marc Singer, Art LaFleur, Hayley DuMond, Janey Gioiosa, Paul McGill, Rebekah Kennedy, Victoria Vance and Emma Rayne Lyle

Here We Go:  Think "Groundhog Day" meets "The Amityville Horror."  The basic plot of the movie is interesting:  people are drawn to an isolated house and they soon discover that, no matter how far they wander from the house, they always end up right back where they started.  Unfortunately, the writing and acting don't live up to the potential of the story.  Then there's the little ghost boy wearing Halloween makeup around his eyes...it's just lame.  House Hunting is good for having something on in the background while you're doing other things but this should not be the focal point of your evening of entertainment.  I will give the writers credit for a decent ending that brought the story full circle.  One of the biggest problems was that there did not seem to be any climax.  There was a beginning, a long middle that dragged out, and then the movie ended.  

Bottom Line:  Watch it when you cannot find anything else.

One for the Money

One for the Money (2012)  PG-13

Directed by Julie Anne Robinson

Starring:  Katherine Heigl, Jason O'Mara, Daniel Sunjata, John Leguizamo, Sherri Shepherd, and Debbie Reynolds

Here We Go:  At first I was thinking Katherine Heigl just highjacked the plot from The Bounty Hunter, but this movie was a pleasant surprise - even though it wasn't drop down hysterical.  Nothing terribly original in the story, but Heigl's down-and-out character is likable and entertaining.  The ladies will probably be wondering throughout whether she will end up with Jason O'Mara or Daniel Sunjata, but I won't ruin that one for you.  It was a little odd that Sunjata kept getting mystery calls to run away after helping Heigl.  At first I thought this was on purpose and that the mystery calls would go somewhere but, alas, it was just a way to get him out of the scene.  The film's main protagonist, Gavin-Keith Umeh, is a murderous rapist that says maybe 15 words through the whole movie.  Could have used some more development on him but this was a comedy aside from being the main bad guy, he really didn't have a role.  

Bottom Line:  Probably not worth spending any money on (hence its bombing at the box office) but worth renting for 90 minutes of entertainment.  

Compliance

Compliance (2012) R

Directed by: Craig Zobel

Starring:  Sophia Lin, Craig Zobel, Theo Sena, Lisa Muskat, and Tyler Davidson

Here We Go:  What in the hell?!  I get that this movie is based on real life events, but the sheer fact that these people were this dumb in real life makes watching this movie painful.  I had to watch it just to see.  My torturous curiosity nagged at me until I couldn't take it anymore and I watched.  I watched with my jaw on the floor and threw in the occasional scoff, which I took as my body's way of checking that I hadn't actually slipped into some sort of stupidity induced coma.  The acting was decent, specifically, Sophia Lin's.  However, it's impossible to get past that these people are acting out things that actually happened.  The people that inspired this movie should be entered into a program for adults with special needs.

Bottom Line:  Watch it to settle your curiosity, OR to remind yourself that you're smarter than an entire restaurant staff.

Nine Dead

Nine Dead (2009) R

Directed by: Chris Shadley

Starring: Melissa Joan Hart, John Terry, Chip Bent...and a bunch of other people I've never heard of.

Here We Go:  I was ready to hate this because Sabrina the Teenage Witch can't act, but Melissa Joan Hart was decent with what she had to work with.  On the other hand, the strip club owner tried his hand at acting like he was related to the producer.  How did he get booked?  Drunken casting call at a local Fridays?  Either way, it wasn't a movie to write home about, but it was still fun to sit around throwing around guesses about what the hell was going on and why.  

Bottom line:  Check it out but only if it's free.

Session 9

Session 9 (2001) R

Directed by Brad Anderson

Starring: David Caruso, Peter Mullan, Stephen Gevedon, Paul Guilfoyle, Josh Lucas, and Brendan Sexton III

Here We Go: The movie is set around the naturally creepy Danvers State Hospital.  The location is what makes this worth watching because until about the last ten minutes you don't really encounter anything "scary."  It's a slow developing story that introduces you to an asbestos abatement team working to clean out the abandoned hospital in just one week. The movie seems to try to go to great lengths to show you details of the asbestos abatement process (mostly unnecessary for the plot) but at the same time the work crew uses the wrong equipment and seemingly has no problem breathing in asbestos or rubbing it into their eyes during breaks.  If you get past the technical deficiencies, the story is solid and the acting of Caruso and Mullan as the two main characters is excellent. The ending left something to be desired but the first 90 minutes are worth watching and the setting of the hospital makes for an interesting story. 

Bottom Line: Worth watching but don't spend money for the rental.